I had a mission when I came to Korea 4 1/2 years ago: learn how to put myself first and stop letting other people get in the way of my true happiness. I was pretty close when I arrived, I just needed that one last push; but then I made the mistake I had always made before. I got involved with a guy. Without getting into specifics, he was needy and I was sick so we mistook our resentment as love. Like a dog chasing it’s own tail, we tried to take care of each other when the best thing we could’ve done was to take care of ourselves. No one but he and I (and maybe my therapist) truly understand the entire struggle of our relationship. All of it’s intricacies and inner-workings like a tangled web of cables under your desk.
Still and yet, now that I’ve found true happiness with myself and another man- there are still people who care to think that their negative, unfounded opinion has a place on top of this temple I worked tirelessly to build. As I said, no one will understand what me and my ex really went through except us. None of them truly knows how much personal growth I have achieved since the breakup. It’s absolutely none of their business and I owe them nothing at all in return for their weak words they sling around on social media.
There’s only two ways to respond to people that want to tear you down: you let them or you don’t. Now I knew when I announced my engagement on Facebook there would be a few people who rolled their eyes because they look at a situation and think they understand it based on limited information. What I wasn’t expecting were words meant to serve like daggers to my heart coming from people who seem to be acting on behalf of my ex. And if they weren’t acting on his behalf but rather took it upon themselves to write those words anyway, well then they really need to reassess their lives and what better things they could be doing with their time. They may also want to revisit how it makes them look to comment in such a fashion on a thread with over 200 ‘likes’ and 50+ other positive comments. Oh, that’s right- like a couple of trolls. [insert slow clap here]
The old me might have cared about their opinions and the hurt they put into their carelessly selected words. It might have affected me back when I required validation and wanted positive affirmation from those around me rather than myself. But now, I can simply disregard their lame attempts at breaking down my temple and eliminate them from my life with no fear of losing anything of value. Instead gaining strength and opening up myself to new opportunities, new growth. I can just- let it go.