Exercise As Beneficial Nothingness


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So, lots of life changes lately, but today I wanna focus on the one I’ve been missing out on for my whole life. The gym. Granted, I used to play lots of sports from childhood through high school. Even then, I didn’t experience the benefits of exercise that I’ve realized in the last two weeks.
If you read my blog, you know I have a brain tumor. As a result my weight and mood fluctuate dramatically. I’ve tried everything and nothing has benefitted me so greatly as the journey I embarked upon two weeks ago. I finally decided to join a gym and get a personal trainer. No more wasting time doing it wrong, having an appointment also makes me feel committed. In addition to the personal trainer I see twice a week, I’ve also committed to yoga class on two of my off days. I feel this combination of high intensity training and muscle stretching movements is a great one, but that’s not even the best thing.
The best thing is that while I am at the gym taking orders from my trainer (in a very motivational Aussie accent ^^) or while at yoga trying to focus on my breath and not fall over as my arms start shaking in side planks- I am thinking of nothing. Absolutely, positively nothing except for what I am supposed to be doing at that very moment. I am so focused in the moment that my mind stops engaging in the whirlwind of emotions surrounding my breakup, the uncertainty of the challenges and rewards of my new job, the financial hardships I am facing, or the long list of things I have to do at home.
So now, for me, exercise has helped my mind enter such a wonderful state of nothingness that the physical benefits are secondary. Sure, I have still weighed myself, but out of curiosity rather than a measure of success. I still take pictures of my body as a record of transformation because I know the benefits will come and I want to document this accomplishment. But I really don’t care so long as it keeps doing for me what it is now which is allow me to focus on myself for an hour a day. A much longer time than I have ever taken for myself in my life.

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